Preparing for Paisley
Her anatomy scan was the week before last. It was perfect. There was no, “Well, we can’t quite see [something], so come back in a week and we’ll try again.” The only difficulty was that she was moving around so much that it was hard to visualize her heart at first, but they got a good view before the scan was over. It took a good bit of convincing from the MFM that they were happy with the scan before I finally took a full breath.
We even got to take a peek in 3D, which revealed that right now she kind of looks like a turtle, with the cutest lips I’ve ever seen:
Eddie also got to feel one giant kick last week. It was just a tiny nudge on the outside, but it was one of her strongest yet. Sometimes the way she moves just tickles and sometimes it feels like she’s practicing karate.
Mostly, though, we’ve been working on her room. I’ve been planning this room for a very long time and we’re just taking our time putting it all together. Here’s a peek at how it looks so far:
(Decal can be found here, on Etsy.)
And Max, our dog. First getting nervous about all of the activity and change going on. He’s been through a lot – moving from Arizona to Virginia, then to a different house in Virginia, the making of the nursery in Virginia, the temporary move to New Jersey, then back to Virginia, packing up and moving back to Arizona from Virginia, then moving into our current place. He has developed a doggy complex and needed some reassurance. Then he decided to share his thoughts on the nursery; I don’t think he’s impressed:
In four days, Benjamin would have been six months old. I cannot believe how much time has passed. Most days it feels like it was last month; sometimes it seems like it’s been years. Sometimes it just feels like it’s been six months.
In the healing process, pregnancy has been both helped and hurt. From the time we had a positive test until the CVS results came in, I spent a lot of time visualizing a positive outcome. And then after the results came in, we were high on good news.
Meanwhile, thoughts of Benjamin festered underneath. And when they came back, I thought it was just a typical rough day. But then it was one day after another, and another, and another. I started having trouble getting to sleep because I’d yearn for a world where they both exist. Then I’d have trouble getting out of bed because I was up so late. Then I found that I couldn’t force myself to get anything done. I couldn’t force myself to leave the house, not even to go for a walk. Eventually, I came out to Eddie about it because I had no other choice, and felt better and worse at the same time.
To be perfectly honest, I’m still there. It’s still a struggle. Eddie has been very supportive and has been helping me along as much as he can.
One of the things that keeps sending me under is the fact that now that I am now visibly pregnant, people will ask if this is my first. But that’s another blog post…